Friday, March 29, 2013

Gym Class Nightmares

When I left middle school in June of 1999, I really had no plans on every going back. But as it turns out, I'd return 12 years later, but this time as a faculty member. Thankfully, I'm not a teacher, and I mean that in the best way possible. I understand now, why teachers get a break in the summer. It's to keep them in schools and out of insane asylums. Instead, I'm a school social worker which keeps me busy, just in different ways as a teacher.

Last week, a girl I work with asked me what middle school was like when I was there. We talked about the lack of iPhones, the beginnings of the Internet, and how I hadn't yet seen a laptop in person. Despite all the changes in technology, one thing that I've learned in the two years I've been working in a middle school, is that in general, girls still hate gym class.

Gym in elementary school was a pretty good deal. I remember getting to ride around on little scooters and playing with that giant parachute. It wasn't until fifth grade when we were told for the very first time that we would be running "the mile" that day."The mile". I'd hate that term for the next five years.

Things seemed to get worse in middle school. I think some of it was the whole idea of changing in front of other girls. As if you're not feeling awkward enough during the beginning years of puberty, schools decided that it's a great time for you to start changing in front of all your peers.

The hardest part for me about gym class was that I simply wasn't good at it. I was the straight A, over achieving type. I remember worrying each time report cards were about to be sent home that gym class would keep me off the distinguished honor roll.

I could do math like whiz. I could analyze literature. I could balance a chemical equation.

But I couldn't run that stinkin' mile.

Sometimes, I'm surprised my parents didn't take me to see the doctor for some sort of gym class induced anxiety. I would be in tears on a regular basis during the track and field unit. It was the time of the school year that I loathed the most.I didn't like failing at anything, especially when everyone in your class could see that you were one of the last people to cross the finish line. When I collected the one gym credited I needed to graduate at the end of 9th grade, I was a very happy girl. No more mile runs for me!

The irony of that hasn't escaped me or my parents. My dad has told me a few times how crazy it is now that I choose to run. Even though, a lot of days, I'm still battling those middle school feelings of inadequacy. Every new week in my training program, I wonder if this will be the week that I am incapable of doing. I love proving those feelings wrong, though.

I wish schools would do gym class differently. I think kids--especially the kids like me, who were not coordinated, athletic, or in shape--need a lot of help in finding ways to exercise that is fun. In high school, we had a few specialized classes in weight lifting and aerobics to pick as electives, but at that point, I was not setting foot in another gym class. Why not have a Zumba class? Or a team sports class? Or a multitude of other classes that focuses on something the student would enjoy?

I also think that it might be a good idea to have gym classes based on ability level. For academic courses, there are honors, average, and remedial classes. Couldn't gym classes be created for the advanced, intermediate, and beginner athletes? If running is going to be a focus, lead students through a Couch to 5K program over several weeks instead of just throwing them into a mile run. Of course, education reform has its hands full right now with academic courses, so I don't see any focus on gym classes any time too soon.

Last spring, I ran a full mile for the first time in my life. So middle school girls out there, whether in age or in spirit, you can do it, too.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Zombies, Run! 5K: Week 3

Week 3 Work Out:
5 minute walk
5 minute free form run

5 cycles of:
1 minute running
1 minute walking
10 seconds knee lifts

8 minute free form run
2 minutes stretching
8 minute free form run

W3D1: Snow run! It was a little cold at first, but once I started moving I just focused on avoiding puddles and giving it my best. I went about a half mile longer than any of my previous runs. My speed/pace was down a little bit, but I was expecting that. I'm hoping to have it back under 15 min/mile by the third run. Most importantly, I ran 20 minutes total between running intervals and free form runs. Hoping to have that up to 25 minutes by run 3, as well.

Distance: 2.84 mi   Duration: 46:05 mins   Avg Speed: 3.70\mph   Avg Pace: 16:14 min/mi

W3D2: I feel extremely accomplished today. When I set the goal of 25 minutes running on day 1, I didn't realize that would mean all but one minute of all the interval and free form runs. As I figured it up, I realized that I hadn't yet run more than 3 minutes in a row, let along a full 8! But today I pushed myself early--ran all 5 of the first free form run. After intervals, I did 3 running-2 walking-3 running. So my plan was to repeat that on my last free form, but once I got started I kept pushing myself "just one more minute". After I passed the 5 minute mark, I knew I was going all the way. Yep, 8 minutes straight for a total of 24 minutes on this work out! Well over half of it I was running! I'm just ecstatic right now. Maybe I'll go for all 26 tomorrow?

Distance: 2.86 mi   Duration: 44:43 mins   Avg Speed: 3.84\mph   Avg Pace: 15:39 min/mi

W3D3: I can't wait for a day without a lot of wind! My snow run on Monday was more enjoyable weather-wise than the last two. But I guess that's why we have tights and Under Armor, so no more whining! The good news? I ran ALL 26 minutes--all free form runs plus all the intervals! I'm feeling like I'm making so much progress now that I'm running more than I am walking.

Distance: 2.81 mi   Duration: 43:07 mins   Avg Speed: 3.91\mph   Avg Pace: 15:19 min/mi

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

A Love Letter to Spaghetti Squash

Dear Spaghetti Squash,

I love you.

There! I said it! And it's not just infatuation, but true love. And there are so many reasons for my love. We're always told that it's what on the inside that matters. You, sir, prove that in a mighty way. Look at you just sitting on that table. On the outside, you look like the average, boring vegetable. Yellow. Oval. Easy to look over in the grocery store.

But you are so much more than the average squash. Inside you is the best pasta swap in the world. We simply have to cut you in half and remove all your seeds (sorry about that, by the way). Six to eight minutes in the microwave, or 30 to 40 minutes, rind side up, in the oven, and you're ready to provide an extremely healthy faux-pasta. Fork out your insides and you're ready to use in a multitude of recipes.


A whole cup of you is only 40 calories!!! A cup of pasta and you're looking at about 200-220 calories. You're so filling and so versatile!

As you know, I'm not much of creative cook, so I must give credit to others for the amazing dishes I've had you in. My mom would make you by simply swapping out spaghetti noodles for you in her own spaghetti recipe.

And recently, you've become a favorite ingredient of my husband too. (Don't worry, he knows I love you and is okay with that.) Chicken Parmesan was delicious, as was the Chicken Alfredo! My favorite was this week's tuna casserole-lots of veggies, protein, and some cheese! So tasty!


And if I find myself on day where I am going to be eating a large meal at some point, you make a great light lunch or dinner. Last week, I ate one cup of you with a 1/2 cup of spaghetti sauce and some Parmesan cheese for under 100 calories!

Once again, let me say, I love you.

Love,
Heather

PS: Don't tell spaghetti noodles, but not only do I love you, I prefer your taste too!


Monday, March 25, 2013

Friend Makin' Monday

I found this on another blog I occasionally read and thought it would be fun!

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
 
 
Ten Questions 

1. Describe the kind of home you would live in if money were no object. As long as money was no object to also afford a maid... because the bigger the house, the more to clean. So assuming that, a modern, log cabin style home that has some acreage to it, but is also not too far from civilization.

 2. Are you more conservative in your actions or more rebellious? I'm not much of a risk taker. This weekend, Tim painted our kitchen "berrylicious blast"--a purple with a hint of fuchsia. It's very bold and fun... and something I wouldn't have picked out on my own. Tim envisioned it and it looks great. I'm thankful God gave me a partner that encourages me to be a bit more of a risk taker.

 3. Would you go to Mars even if it meant you could never return to Earth? No way. All the people I love are here. Why would I leave them?

 4. Name one song that makes you want to dance every time you hear it. "I Love You" by Lecrae, ft. Chris Lee. This was the song that Tim and I entered our reception too. It's got a great beat and just makes me feel happy and in love!

 5. Share one thing that you wish you could go back and do differently in your life. I don't live with many regrets. But when I worked retail, one of my managers could fold a fitted sheet perfectly. How I wish I would have learned that skill.

 6. Share at least one accomplishment that people wouldn’t expect you to be proud of.  One thing I'm proud of that people might not expect or not know about me is that I was a virgin on my wedding day. Growing up in the late 90's/early 2000's, true love wait pledges were very popular in the Christian subculture. What could have been a taught as a passing fad, was instead reinforced with the "why" of waiting, rather than just the "rule" of waiting. I'm certainly not trying to judge anyone on their path through life here, but it is something I about my relationship with Tim that makes me very proud.

7. Describe one delicious thing that you’ve eaten lately. I'm a recovering macaroni and cheese addict. Yesterday, Tim made a reduced-everything mac and cheese that was really good! Low fat cheese, skim milk, healthier pasta... it was delicious!

8. If you had a theme song that would play every time you entered a room, which song would you choose? Ugly Day - Five Iron Frenzy
 
9. Had technology enhanced your life, or has it over complicated your life? Enhanced. I met Tim through technology (thanks Neil Clark Warren!). I feel much more connected to family and friends than I would without Facebook. Technology isn't perfect, but I wouldn't get rid of it. I just try not to be addicted to it.

10. If you could get paid to do any job, which job would you choose? Play with puppies. Or watching Orioles baseball. OR BOTH AT THE SAME TIME!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Flatlining

Nobody wants to plateau. What good is any journey if you're not growing? Who wants to hang out in stagnant water?

My friend, Pat, recently told me about her frustration with plateaus, after the scale had spent too long on a certain number. Another morning came along and the number still hadn't budged. As she tells the story, she calmly opens her bathroom window, pulls up the screen, and tosses her scale in the yard. (For the record, her scale survived and she broke through her plateau shortly afterward.)

This morning I thought maybe I should follow suit, but I really didn't think our scale would survive a three story fall. Looking at the scale this morning, I was sorta-kinda thankful I didn't gain. At least I stayed the same, I told myself. Tim even reminded me, "you're a chick with a thyroid problem! Your progress is amazing!"

But ultimately, I felt that my body cheated me. I stayed under my daily calories every day--even on Thursday when we went to Texas Roadhouse with friends for dinner! I ordered broccoli and carrots instead of the loaded sweet potato! I ran five of the Zombies, Run! 5K workouts! I was not happy!

As I was having my own personal pity party this morning, I realized that I was sabotaging my own journey to strong. I couldn't blame the scale for my poor attitude. Only I can control my focus and I choose to set my aim for the positive. And I had to admit, there were a few positives to my week.

First off, I achieved my goal of 8 miles this week. In fact, I think I blew it out of the water! I ran/walked 11.16 miles this week. And that is something that makes me extremely happy.

Secondly, a few days ago, I was downstairs letting Penny outside to use the bathroom. When she came back in, I ran up to the third floor. When I got to our bedroom, I realized I wasn't out of breath--something I couldn't have said when we first moved in to our townhouse.

So I challenge anyone who hits the inevitable plateau in your weight loss, to strive for better, even if it isn't in the number you're seeing. How much better do you feel? How are your clothes fitting? What compliments are you receiving? Success is all about how we define it.

Weigh In Day 
This week: -0.0 lbs
Total: - 18.8 lbs

Goal: 3/24-3/30
Running: 10 miles
Weight: -2 lbs

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Zombies, Run! 5K: Week 2

Week 2 Work Out:
10 minute walk

5 cycles of:
30 seconds running
5 heel lifts
90 seconds walking

10 minute free form run

W2D1: We went up to the C&O Canal to run today. It was a nice change of scenery from running in the development. I had a great walk/run. (Tim had more of a frustrating run as Penny wanted to investigate every person, bike, and other dog they passed on the Canal.) For the free form run, I did a solid 2 minute run/1 minute walk ratio. It was my best pace since restarting training. I find trail running to be easier so I was curious to see how it would compare the next day.

Distance:  2.23 mi   Duration: 33:24 mins Avg Speed: 4.00 mph Avg Pace: 15.00 min/mi

W2D2: It was a little windy, but it felt great to be out in some sunshine. I really enjoyed the app today, too. One of my favorite characters, Sam, ran "with" me today so there was the most storyline in the workout since the intro episode. I upped one of my running intervals during the free run today from 2 minutes to 3. I was anxious to see my pace, and thrilled to see it was just a little behind my pace from day 1--and that was going back to road running. I will say that I feel weird doing heel lifts in the middle of our development. I'm sure people think it's strange to see me stop running and then lift up on my toes 5 times before walking again. But, I think the stretching during the intervals really helps my muscles recover. My calves have felt great all week.


Distance: 2.20 mi   Duration: 33:15 mins   Avg Speed: 3.96 mph Avg Pace:  15:09 min/mi

W2D3: Best pace/speed yet! Woohoo! Today was the nicest day we've had in a while. Sunny and high 40's, but still pretty windy. I was honestly surprised that I got my speed over 4 mph today. It felt so difficult at times, but with a lot of things in life, the difficult part wasn't as much physical, but more mental. I didn't sleep well the night before and was just having one of those days where I felt emotional and "blah". (Ladies, you know what I mean.) The great thing about exercise is getting those feel good endorphins flowing. After my run, I was at a better place mentally than I had been all day.


Distance: 2.22 mi   Duration: 32:43 mins   Avg Speed: 4.06\mph   Avg Pace: 14:46 min/mi

Looking ahead to week 3, I think it's going to be the first week to really challenge me physically. Longer intervals of running and more free form runs (where I really like to push myself!) so I'm hoping to see a lot of growth over the next 3 workouts.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Journey to Dynamai

A week ago, I was having lunch with one of my coworkers. She had taken her youngest granddaughter to the pediatrician that day. She had questions about how to talk to her older granddaughters about healthy choices. She was concerned because she didn't want to instill any harmful ideas about weight in them at such a young age.

The advice the pediatrician gave her was ingenious. Tell them, she said, they are on a journey to becoming strong. Not only did it address both girls' health goals, it could be a theme through everything in life. I loved it so much, I adopted it as my personal motto.

Tim has a thing for Greek words. He study the language as a part of his undergrad Biblical Studies degree. A single Greek word can express an entire idea more beautifully than it could even be translated to English, he tells me. Tim embraced the Greek word of hupomone (pronounced hoop-om-on-ay')—an idea of perseverance, conisistency, and endurance—as a part of his own health journey several years ago.

Loving that idea, I began to do my very first Greek word study to look at variations of strong. And then I found it...

δύναμαι

Or, dynamai (pronounced dü'-nä-mÄ«). The concept of dynamai goes beyond just strength. It carries the idea of not just being strong, but that “it is possible”. It also expresses the idea of being capable due to “a state of mind”. And most important, it is also connect of a strength that is given by God.

How beautiful is that? It sums up everything I want this journey to be about. A physical strength. An emotional strength. And, a spiritual strength. That is the path I find myself on today and in my future.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Zombies, Run! 5K: Intro and Week 1

I'm a sucker for zombies lately, like the rest of America. Sunday nights are devoted to watching The Walking Dead. I've even read some of the graphic novels. So when I heard about the Zombies, Run! App, I was intrigued.

If you're not aware, Zombies, Run! is set in a small community during the zombie apocalypse. You join the community and are known as Runner 5. There is an ongoing storyline—think almost of an old radio show. As you run, the app plays your own music in between parts of the story. You are sent on missions to collect important items. While you are out on the mission, you occasionally need to evade a zombie. The app uses GPS technology and requires you to speed up for 1 minute sprints to stay safe.

And, if you're not ready for the full app like I am, they have also released an app for beginners providing training for a 5K. The 5K app, thus far, has been pretty light on the story line. The doctor from the community walk you through the running drills and you occasionally hear from other characters in the story. You cannot get caught by a zombie during the training in this app. So to me, the full app seems a lot more fun. And I'm very glad for that because it adds to my motivation for sticking with the 5K training app. Right now, Tim's using the full app. He really enjoys it and says the storyline is very engaging. He's actually frustrated that he can't talked to me about it because I don't want to be spoiled!

Intro: The intro has been my favorite episode. You can walk, run, or a combination of both for the entire work out. It starts with the story of how you reached Abel Township and provides interesting details about all these new characters. I feel like this episode was the most like the full app (minus the GPS zombie chases).

Distance: 2.04 mi Duration: 35:38 mins Avg Speed: 3.56 mph Avg Pace: 16:51 min/mi

Week 1 Work Out:

10 minute walk

10 cycles of:
1 minute walking
15 second running

10 minute free form run (walk, run, or combo of both)

W1D1: For my first day back at true 5K training, I can't really remember anything remarkable about this one. The weather was nice and I found the training intervals pretty easy. For the free form run, I alternated 1minute of running and 1 minute of walking.

Distance: 2.26 mi Duration: 39:39 mins Avg Speed: 3.52 mph Avg Pace: 17:02 min/mi

W1D2: I woke up early before church and ran in the cold. Both of these things are remarkable as I hate early mornings and the cold, but I felt great during the run and even better afterward. I was so focused during church. Afterward, we went grocery shopping. Once we returned, I felt so energetic that I organized the freezer and then completely cleaned the entire refrigerator.

Distance: 2.36 mi Duration: 35:58 mins Avg Speed: 3.77 mph Avg Pace: 15:54 min/mi

W1D3: This was most difficult run because it was such a windy day. When I got to the free run, I tried to do intervals of 2 minutes running, 1 minute walking. It seemed like every run interval, I was running into the wind. I kept thinking about the Biggest Loser workouts when the contestants run while pulling Jillian behind them, which helped me make it through. The one interval when I ran with the wind to my back, the 2 minutes flew.

Distance: 2.15 mi Duration: 34:15 mins Avg Speed: 3.67 mph Avg Pace: 16:20 min/mi

Monday, March 18, 2013

Trifecta of Gain

In my introduction post, I mentioned how my journey with weight has had its mountains and its valleys. My most recent journey began in the summer of 2010. It truly began with a picture.

I love baseball and one June evening, then Baltimore Orioles outfielder/DH Luke Scott was speaking at a local event. I purchased tickets and enjoyed the evening. Afterward, I waited for an autograph and picture with Luke. My excitement over the event turned to embarrassment when I saw myself in the picture.

The photo that forced me to acknowledge I needed to find the strength to change. Also, I did some really weird curly thing to my hair that evening.

After struggling the rest of the summer with feelings of disgust with myself, but in August I finally felt determined enough to do something. I joined Weight Watchers and acquired a gym membership. My first moment where I truly felt like I was finding some success was in October. One of my best friends was getting married. I had my last fitting for my bridesmaid dress just a few weeks into my new lifestyle. When I put the dress on the day of her wedding, I was ecstatic. It was loose! I could feel a huge difference between my last fitting and wearing it that day.

The calendar turned to 2011and somehow, almost remarkably, I stuck with all my new habits. By that summer, I was down about 50 pounds. It felt like a whole new me. In fact, in early September, I started a new job. I felt like it was the first time that people just knew Heather the person and not Heather the fat girl.

Over the next few months, I lost another 5 to 10 pounds. At the end of that year, I met Tim, my now husband. Starting a new relationship did wonders for me. Within that first month of “can't sleep, can't eat” feelings, I dropped another 10 pounds. At that point, I weighed less than I had since around middle school.

I took this photo to send to my best friend before leaving for my first date with Tim. I can't wait to get to that point again.

As you can guess, after the newness of our relationship wore off, those 5 to 10 pounds came back on pretty quickly. As Tim and I started spending more and more time together, I started counting WW Points less and less.

Tim had ran his marathon a few months prior to this and had then taken some time off of running. He was feeling burned out and dealing with shin splints for awhile. His love of running encouraged me to start a C25K program. We worked at it together which helped keep the weight in check since I wasn't following any eating program. We did a 5K in June of that year. I did pretty bad at it, but that's another story for another day.

Tim and I were married at the end of July. Thankfully at that point, I had only put back on about 10 pounds and didn't have any issues fitting into my wedding dress! I think I had a few nightmares about that scenario...

It fit, it fit! And the wedding was everything I ever dreamed it would be.

But then I entered what I have titled the Trifecta of Gain. I had read about the “Newlywed 15” the apparent older sister to the dreaded “Freshman 15”. It definitely hit me, especially as I continued to make worse choices with my food, with little to no exercise. At this time, I also was diagnosed with a thyroid disorder and a benign tumor in my brain. On top of that, the beginning to this school year was intense. I work with students who are in a self contained special education room. While I love what I do, there were numerous moments in the fall where I did not think I could keep it up. By the end of 2012, I had gained a total of 30 pound back of what I had lost originally!!

The good news? Everything is looking up—except for my weight! I decided to save money and go with calorie counting on My Fitness Pal instead of Weight Watchers. I also started to do some Zumba—videos only. I'm embarrassed enough to Zumba in front of both my husband and my dog! And most recently, I'm giving the 5K training again.

The result? Since January 6th, I've lost 18.8 lbs. Despite the two steps forward, one step back approach, I'm really thrilled with how I'm feeling and that when Spring rolls around, I'll be able to fit into my cute sundresses! I was really worrying about that a few months ago... And I'm not the only one making progress on this journey. Tim has lost almost 30 pounds since mid-January and is eyeing a half marathon in a few months. He's always looked great to me, but I love how much healthier we are both becoming.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Honest thoughts

Yesterday, I asked Tim for any thoughts he had on the start of this blog. He gave me two pieces of feedback. “Well you make me out to be a bit of a villain,” he tells me. “What!?” was my reply. He went on to explain in my cheat day story, I wrote that he cooked unhealthy food for me several times.

So to clarify, Tim is actually a very health conscious cook. A few years ago, before we met, he went from out of shape dude to running a marathon in the Fall of 2011. He is the main chef in our home, so I'm thankful that he can take skinless chicken breasts and veggies and turn them into masterpieces. He's also a great support when it comes to working out and a invaluable source of information about all things healthy.

His second remark about the start of the blog was one word. Honesty.

And to be honest, as of this point, I haven't shared the link to this on social networking or with anyone but him. I am working towards that point. I find no point of a personal blog if it lacks honesty. It may involve painful memories or bad decisions, but I'm hoping not only to keep myself more accountable, but possibly help someone else out through my journey.

Weigh In Day 
This week: -4 lbs (3 of those lbs were the gained last week due to the birthday cheat week disaster)
Total: - 18.8 lbs

Goal: 3/17-3/23
Running: 8 miles
Weight: -2 lbs

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Cheater, cheater

You know what the greatest part of a diet—excuse me, life style change—is, right? It's kind of like Christmas morning. You start to feel the anticipation days in advanced. You wake up knowing that it's finally here! Today! Today is your cheat day!

That might be a slight exaggeration, but I will be the first to admit that I enjoy a cheat day, at least until the end of the day. By then, I'm usually feeling bloated and sick. My husband, Tim, told me once that the whole purpose of a cheat day isn't really to give yourself a break. The purpose is to remind yourself how much better you feel when you're eating a healthy, balanced diet.

But sometimes, we fall off the wagon and have trouble climbing back on. Welcome to my life last week. My birthday was Friday the 8th. I spent the entire week in a birthday induced food coma.

It started out on Sunday with a trip to Cracker Barrel. I even ordered apple sauce for one of my three (THREE!!!) sides that day in an attempt to make one healthy choice, but the waitress brought me coleslaw by mistake. I said nothing and enjoyed the calorie laden side. That night, we went to a local pizza shop where I had two slices and shared an order of cheesy crab fries with a side a ranch with Tim. That night, I ate a cold slice of left over piece a bit before heading to bed. Big mistake. I was up half the night sick. You would have thought I learned...

Monday and Tuesday went by without an incident. Wednesday, though, the east coast was hit with a “giant” snow storm. It didn't amount to more than a few inches that melted by mid-afternoon, but as Tim and I both work in schools, it got us a day off work. There's something about snow, though, that makes me want to eat. I can't even remember everything I ate that day, but it was bad. The one thing I do remember is that Tim made breakfast that morning. I had a few pieces with my breakfast... and then throughout the morning, as I would walk by the left overs sitting on a plate in the kitchen, I'd grab another piece... and another... and another. About two hours after breakfast, Tim kindly informed me that he had made an entire pack of bacon—12 slices—and he had only had 3 or 4 of those slices. I broke down into tears. How had I eaten 9 slices of bacon? Still, the week continued without me really learning a lesson.

A decent Thursday led into my birthday on Friday! I had lunch with my co-workers at Panera Bread, which has a lot of healthy choices. I did “splurge” on broccoli cheddar instead of my usual choice of low cal Chicken Noodle. Still, not bad. Evening led to a dinner at UNOs. I picked the restaurant purely for the dessert—the giant Peanut Butter Cup. It was as delicious as I remembered and the deep dish pizza was good too. My night didn't end there, though. We stopped at 7 Eleven where I picked up a cola Slurpee, a pack of Sour Skittles, and a bag of Utz's Salt and Vinegar Chips. Oh, salt and vinegar chips? Another trigger food. I can eat a big bag in one sitting if I kept them in my house. I think my only good food decision that day was to get a single serving bag of those chips!

The birthday weekend went on for another two days, sadly. Tim made me a great birthday breakfast (my favorite meal of the day) on Saturday, but I did go easy on the bacon, at least. We went out to eat with his side of the family for dinner that night. The fatty foods continued—fried onion petals, a loaded sweet potato, and a piece of Amish style chocolate cake with peanut butter icing. Sunday we had family dinner with my side of the family—fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, red velvet cupcakes, and ice cream with hot fudge, just to name a few.

At the end of that week, I gained 3 pounds back. I guess I should be thankful it wasn't worse on the scale, especially after the Bacon Epidemic of 2013, as it will now be called. But worse than any number on the scale was how miserable I felt. Physically, I was run down, tired, bloated. Emotionally, I felt like a failure.

Tomorrow will be a week since I ended my birthday eating binge. I'd do a lot different if I could go back in time, but I also learned a lot of great lessons.
  1. Weight comes back on way too fast to cheat too frequently. Three pounds in a week is a scary number. Three times 52 weeks is... 156 pounds!
  2. Future cheat days will be done differently. Yes, I'll take a break for calorie recording, but I will limit myself to one special meal that day. A cheat breakfast, lunch, and dinner is unnecessary.
  3. It's never too late to get back on the wagon. Sunday evening, I felt like I just wanted to give up, but Monday morning I broke out my measuring cups, opened up MyFitnessPal.com, and resumed my journey to strong.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Beginnings

Several years ago, when I was about 20 years old, I was sitting in my aunt's living room for a holiday gathering. The family was reminiscing about when my cousins and I were younger. And then memory lane took a drastic turn.

"Remember when Heather was little? She was SO skinny!" 

I don't think my uncle meant any harm by it. We're not particularly close, but he's not a mean guy. When you're a girl, weight is always a sensitive topic. When you're a fat girl, it's a devastating topic.

Besides, it's true. My prepubescent body was thin and wispy. And what he didn't say--but that I felt throughout my entire body--was also true. At 20 years old, I was SO NOT skinny. What a great Christmas present, huh?

It really wasn't until late elementary and middle school that I started to put on weight. I put a lot of blame on puberty, but I was also lazy and drank a lot of soda. Since then, my weight's fluctuated a lot. No, no never anywhere close to skinny, but I would go through phases of losing 20-30 pounds, before putting it--and more--back on. I wish I could tell you that his words were the motivation I needed to become a size 2, marathon runner, but it's not. Body image and self confidence are a daily battle for this girl.

So here I am at 28 years old. Married to the man of my dreams, mother to a Jack Russell/Cattle Dog mix named Penny, trying to make a difference in a middle school. And on a journey to strong. <3